Sunday, September 28, 2014

35.


I just spent the last while looking through each birthday post. You all know how much I love birthdays. Something about the feeling of looking back over the year.. but you know the part I like the most is the anticipation of looking FORWARD.

I am like a fine wine. I most definitely get better with age. Last year I was settling into my season of waiting.. of doing nothing... of just being.. worthy. It was a time of huge growth for me.. This is what I wrote on the eve of my 34th birthday...


my heart says yes

on the eve of my 34th birthday.

dear heather,

what if every day were the perfect day to finally be exactly who you were always meant to be? What if everything you ever wanted was just on the other side of fear? what if inside you was a place to be happy, pure, simple and full of joy... yes I know amidst the chaos of life. would you believe it's possible? what if instead of perfection you held yourself to the highest standard of grace? that would be incredible wouldn't it? you are bright. what if you did everything with so much love in your heart that you would never want to live any other way. let this truth sink in. you are confined only by the walls you build yourself. big truth. i think it's time to find your wings. to soar. i know you love birthdays.. you are quick to say each year you get better. it's life lived that causes you to re-evaluate your decisions, to learn from them, to grow and to move forward. you have done alot of moving forward this past year.. i know some of it has been hard and i am proud of the way you have allowed yourself to not be a victim anymore. it wasn't easy but i am so proud of you.

please trust in the process of not being a doer but soaking in being. just being.

cheers to the best year yet.



What a beautiful thing for my heart to read this. Since then life has CHANGED... I have been filled with purpose and passion like never before. I feel more alive today than ever before. I feel like each season of my life has prepped me for this. I am standing on sacred ground for me cause the only way I could have gotten here is with God.. with letting go of what I thought I wanted and letting Him lay new opportunities in my lap. I have given each moment over and allowed myself to be led.

In some ways this last year has been one of ups and downs. The season of waiting that followed my birthday last year helped me grow and when it was time for me to come out of that I was set on a fast forward in some ways.. But through all of it I look in anticipation at the bigger picture. My Why has become more important than ever.

I have always been passionate about helping people.
I have always worn my heart on my sleeve and won't stop now.
I have always wanted to matter. The difference is now I don't really care what other people think I know I matter.

So for my 35th year.. wow how can it get better... Each day it's surpassing my expectations. I think I want to take it all in.. to really enjoy where I am at. So much to be thankful for: family, friends, health, wellness, the freedom to stay home, my business and the community I have found there which has breathed new life into me, for thriving and refusing to stay stuck.

Our message in church today rocked my socks... I wanna run this race to WIN. To populate heaven and do more than just sit and watch life pass by.. to not stay in the same place cause it feels comfortable. We are made for SO much more. Don't just sit and watch.. participate, act, serve.. What drives you? What gives you life?


I anticipate an amazing year.. already filled with so many new adventures I never dreamed possible. For new friendships fuller and deeper than ever before. And for GROWTH.. I have learned we must keep growing, changing, learning.. to stay the same and closed off blah.. I don't want it.

I want to be free. Soaring has begun and I am only going up.

Join me? Come on.. you know you wanna....






Tuesday, September 23, 2014

with hope

the odds don't matter. 

what a beautiful statement and relates so well to all aspects of life. I read it on a blog and not only did it resonate with me but so did the personal story of Heather Von St. James. She is a vibrant blogger who has dedicated her life to raising awareness for Mesothelioma. Just in case like me you were not aware what that is.. Mesothelioma is a cancer caused by exposure to asbestos. It carries a poor prognosis and early detection is key! 

Most people who develop mesothelioma have worked in jobs where they inhaled or ingested asbestos fibers, or were exposed to airborne asbestos dust and fibers in other ways. Washing clothes of a family member who worked with asbestos also creates a risk for developing mesothelioma. 

This story hit home for me and has a personal twist. My Grandpa was an electrician and my Dad spent many many hours as a young kid crawling around attics with my Grandpa. It was a trade he would do till he retired a few years ago. Last year he was dealing with some lung issues and the end result of that is a spot in his lungs that they equate to being there from too much exposure to Asbestos. Thankfully his are diagnosed as Pleural Plagues around his lung area. They do an annual CT scan and so far believe it's scar tissues.. so while we are thankful there are SO many who are not so lucky. So I am happy to share with you that...

September 26th is the 10th annual Mesothelioma Awareness Day. Awareness is key..I have found in my own journey to health & wellness.. so much we don't know keeps us from acting in a positive way. So please read Heather's story here at her blog http://www.mesothelioma.com/heather/



I have been reading a lot about the disease and the struggles people with this disease go through and what hits me is the isolation that comes with disease. I think it's true for all disease and unless we are willing to share it with others we will remain alone. It's true of my struggle with mental illness and depression.. although mine is not severe it's still a constant battle of the mind and allowing myself to be alone and not share keeps me in the dark and worse than that it keeps others in the dark thinking they need to struggle through disease alone.. That should never be the case. So as a blogger I am joining in a community of like minded people to bring you some facts.



Asbestos kills more than 100,000 people annually.
It often takes 20 years after exposure for the first sign of sickness to hit.
And I ashamed to say Canada is still exporting Asbestos today. 

So lets not be silent.
Raising awareness is key. Raise your voice.
http://www.mesothelioma.com/heather/awareness/#.VCB2yigrV38

Monday, September 01, 2014

Journey to Joy - First Edition

I am super excited to announce the first edition of Journey to Joy! I always have so much I want to share with my team and this was the best way to go about it. Well I thought it was until I could not attach it. So you are being led here to read the very first edition. Whether you are here because you are on my team or interested about learning more this is a great place to start! 

Lots of awesome events coming up for you to attend to equip yourself with more knowledge and more education and in turn more freedom.

Please take a moment to read the newsletter. 





Sunday, June 22, 2014

Jekyll and Hyde

Keep calm because this is the moment. - Jekyll and Hyde

I saw that the other day and it is fitting for right now. today. here.

I feel a lump in my throat tonight as I sit here and try to get some work done.. the only thing I can think of as my heart starts to race is that I have 4 days of work left. 6.5 years. I remember standing at the window when I answered the phone when we lived on Duster Bay being offered this job. I had two not even 2 year olds and this job literally saved our lives. The benefit of working half days was a gift.. being able to get out of the house for part of the day but also be home worked perfect for us. I also entered a job I literally fell in love with.

It's the best blend. Outgoing by nature I have loved my front line work. Being surrounded by amazing co-workers makes going to work easy. So many things I could say about my job. One thing is for sure.. I will miss it. Terribly. Thinking about the people I get to work with every day is what is causing this lump in my throat.. I know they will all be ok without me but I will miss their everyday presence in my life. From my corner coffee break table, to the hall behind me and the two people who occupy those spaces and make me thankful to sit where I sit. To the one I share my space with... and my heart. 

I know I made the right choice and am following my heart and my passion.. I am so blessed to be able to work from home and be more available to my family and the new circle that welcomes me.. but part of my heart is broken into a million pieces because as crazy as it may seem to you my life at 675 Prairie View Drive changed the course of our home.. made a struggling mama to twins survive those first few years.. it wasn't only the work place but the nurturing loving hands who held, read stories to, sang songs with, played endless rounds of duck duck goose, who fed, cleaned up after, prayed for and LOVED my boys.. it was a village. My village. 

Change is scary, but like my Dad said to me "Take risks... what's the worst that can happen?" I think I have found who I am meant to be over the past 6.5 years.. my village, my people they have all helped me get here.

So for the next 4 days I plan to relish each moment. To take it all in. Cause really I have SO much to be thankful for.. so much to look forward to. So much life to live. What are we without our village?

So this week.. I will send my boys down the driveway on their bikes to school, pack up Jett and my morning smoothie. We will turn on the Eagle and listen to Chuck. I will get coffee and get Jett a blueberry muffin. I'll drop him off at Shirlies and drive to work. I'll park in spot #6. And just like now.. I'll probably cry.

I have so much to be thankful for. My heart is full. And a tiny bit broken. Grateful for so much.

Saturday, June 07, 2014

We celebrate 4 today.

4 years. Hard to believe it's been 4 years.

I thought about you a lot today as I wrote this blog post in my head. My mind wandered back to 4 years ago... Lets face it my body was not good at keeping babies inside till it was time and you were no different. My water broke one week before you were born when I was not quite 35 weeks. I still had a week left of work and what followed after that early morning when I thought I had peed the bed is still not my favourite week to think of. Gushing water for 6 days was less than fun. My mom and my Aunt took me in 8 days after my water broke for my fetal assessment it was a Monday. June 7th. I thought I was home free. Finally 36 weeks.. I figured they would send me home and say I could deliver locally...   and when the ultra sound tech quickly put her wand down and left the room I knew this would not be the case. The rest is a whirlwind. You needed to come out right then and there... Very reminiscent to 4 years earlier when I called the Stallion from a Winnipeg hospital and told him he should very quickly come so he could be here when you were born. He was on the roof of Access Credit Union and asked if he could finish his job.. the surgeon sort of politely said no. You have always done things your own way and in your own time and no matter how much I rush you you don't stand for it. Thankful 4 years ago you didn't let me rush you... the amount of things I did to get labor started would have probably cost you your life or mine had I succeeded. I remember the feeling in the OR.. I was all full of emotion and today as I looked back at those photos this one stood out to me.. this was the ugly cry... If you have had a CSection you know the moment.. it's not pain it's just a feeling of knowing the pulling and tugging is going to at any moment turn into a cry.. maybe it was a subconscious this is my last baby or the realization that I would never get a different kind of birth story...




At 4:47 with the Stallion and my super midwife Marla by my side you came into this world. A firecracker from the start.



And we have loved you ever since. 


 .


Jett you are one of a kind. You can light up any room with your smile, charm, wacky sense of humour and sparkling personality. You are adventure, sparkle, shine and grit all rolled into one. You can make us laugh and you can entertain whether it's from the banister of the stairs or on the piano. You truly have a compassionate heart and LOVE the people in your life especially your friends at Shirley's. You are wise beyond your years and daily talk about going to preschool next fall. You can count to 30 and say your ABC's no problem. You retain incredible amounts of information and have a special knack for remembering the lyrics to songs. Spending time with you on our morning rides to town is always a highlight you love to copy whatever Chuck says on the radio that morning or yell out the words to your favourite songs.

You love playing catch, riding your none training wheel bike, going golfing with Grandma & Papa... well lets face it anything that involves your Papa is good in your books, you see the world through adventurous eyes and I cannot wait to see where this life takes you. May the sparkle always be in your eyes may you never feel you have to stay inside the box.. I think your adventurous spirit is something you should find freedom in. I wish for you lots of fort building, many big puddles to splash in, hitting home runs, piles of dirt & sand to build in, lots of fish to catch and stars to count.

Happy 4th Birthday Jetty. You are simply the best.




Tuesday, June 03, 2014

welcome june.



Success is an ongoing journey. Not a single event. One of the keys to success is passion... Growth is almost always painful, change is most often scary but like my Dad said to me What fun is life without some risks?

Embrace where your life is headed. Do what you love. Open your arms, mind and life to new adventures. Life is about the people you meet. Live your dream and wear your passion. To find your gift and give it away as Shakespeare would say.

The things you are passionate about are not random they are your calling. I would not have known 5 months ago that I would be where I am at right now. I feel like as I keep moving forward the doors keep opening and God keeps showing me He has me right where He wants me. I had spent the last half a year prior in a season of waiting... not sure what was in store and then this beautiful gift fell into my lap and it changed our lives. I have found that special gift that I need to pass on.

So with new energy and imagination for time to make my soul happy. I am moving forward and switching gears to working from home full time. I went to work 7 years ago because being a stay at home mom was not working for me or my family. I found the most perfect job for me and have been extremely happy there for the last 6 years. It gave me life, joy and introduced me to people whom I love and enjoy spending half a day with. Over the last few months my life has taken a different turn... I am loving building my team with Young Living and pouring myself into the people this amazing company has had me come in to contact with. To stop every day and speak with people about Essential Oils is what I want to focus my energy on. I can't do it all and so I am listening to my heart and following this dream.. with only this one precious life it's all I can do. So come June 26th I will be self employed and will work from home. This company has given us more than we could imagine and we are so blessed to be apart of it. The Oils have literally changed our lives and it would be wrong for me to sit on that and not share it. I am all in. I take a 25 hour intensive course this coming weekend which will give me an amazing source of knowledge and inspiration. I have big plans .. big goals, big dreams.

This is my new mantra... my new life goal. I really need to get this on my wall.

May my heart be kind, my mind fierce and my spirit brave. To respond to every call that excites my spirit. To have loyalty be the tune my heart sings and to know I am enough just the way I am.

It's going to be a good one. A really good one.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

celebrate eight

 
 


 
During random moments over the past week I have turned to the Stallion with wide eyes and wondered aloud.. how are they turning 8 this week? well today is the day we celebrate eight. 8 years with our boys. What an adventure it has been.
 
They made me a mama and they have walked this road with me as I learn how best to nurture them. It has not been very easy and those first few years are ones I am thankful they may not remember. One thing is for sure. I am so blessed to be called their mum. They have helped me grow, helped me realize I am enough and made me a far better person than I ever could have been without them.
 
Ari my first born.. although a sneaky move got you the title of out first. You were always Baby B. You are kind, caring, compassionate and full of a tender heart. You see the world through the eyes of an inventor. You want to know how things work, how they came to be and you thrive on learning facts about everything. Your love for knowledge has been evident this year as you have thrived on studying First Nations people, Nova Scotia and your favorite The Bluenose. You know facts about those things that most people don't. You love studying how things work and your lego building shows that following the instructions is usually boring but building something bigger and better and from the blueprint of your mind is far better.
You have close friends - you see your friendships in quality not in quantity. I love the loyalness in your heart. You are my snuggle bunny and I love how you tell me even when you are all big and grown up you will stay my snuggle bunny forever. Does my mama heart good.

With a spring in your step, a thirst for knowledge and a deep caring heart skies the limit for you my boy. When skies are grey you always make sure we all still see the sun.
 
 
Noah. Our leader. You are wild, fun & free. You dance to the beat of your own drum. You love people. You love having friends and being a friend. You crave attention and praise. You remind me it's ok to be loud and have fun. You are learning so much this year about the little leader inside of you. We are so thankful for your teacher this year. She has really helped point you like an arrow in the right direction. Boys so full of spunk like you, full of stories and thought can either use their powers for good or for bad. She has really shown you that you can be used for good. I am proud of you and your love for writing your own stories, for taking on chapter books with pride.
We don't always see eye to eye these days.. but I often sit back and am thankful for your beyond the box thinking, for not wanting to settle for things you don't understand. Your energy and zest for life will make you great Noah.  I pray you will be the kind of leader you would want to follow and that you will be full of inspiration and motivation that make others want to do good.

May your eyes always be filled with wonder & may you never settle with an answer you don't fully understand. May your days be filled with running full blast at the things you want... you are the kind of guy that will chase those dreams and tackle them head first.
 
My biggest hope is that my boys will always go after their dreams, pursue justice & be filled with compassion. Raising kids is no joke.. Thankful our journey is always part of the bigger picture. Ah that's a good reminder... Let us all be looking towards the bigger picture.
 
Happy Birthday Noah
Happy Birthday Ari